much does it cost a pyrate to get a piercing?
buck an ear!
you heard about the new pyrate movie?
It’s rated AARRRR!
do you know why?
of all the booty!
did the pyrate stop smoking?
used the patch!
much did the pyrate pay for his peg leg and hook?
arm and a leg!
do you call a pyrate that skips class?
does a pyrate's phone go beep beep beep beep beep?
he left it off the hook!
do pyrates know when they are about to be attacked?
They watch Sea-span!
do you call a pyrate who poses for Playboy?
pyrate walks into a bar with this enormous steering wheel stuck
down his pants. The bartender can’t help but ask, “What’s
with the steering wheel?” “ARRRRGGH,” the
pyrate answers, “it’s drivin’ me nuts.”
A little kid with a speech impediment dresses up as a pyrate and
goes trick or treating. he knocks on the door of a house and a man
answers. "oh, i can see you're dressed up as a pirate."
the man says. "but where are your buccaneers?" the kid
gets really mad, and says "on the sides of my buckin' head!"
pyrate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't
seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pyrate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't
have that before."
"Well," says the pyrate, "We were in a battle at
sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and
I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that
hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pyrate, "We were in another battle
and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand
was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch?
Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pyrate, "One day when we were at
sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one
of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You
couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pyrate, "I really wasn't used to
the hook yet."
pyrate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic
escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the
boat's provisions, the pyrate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly
hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.
To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This
particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one
wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to
the matter the pyrate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into
rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening
crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum
ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as
the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly
at the pyrate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now
yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!"
What has 8 arms and 8 legs?